A Change of Heart, Body & Soul

Last night Justin started complaining that his chest hurt a lot.  I hoped that a good night's rest would really help him.  This morning, however, he was still complaining.  He even said that breathing was hard.  This is not good especially if you have covid. I decided to have my daughter who is on the "outside" aka not in isolation with us go get an oximeter so I could check Justin's oxygen levels.  I wanted to make sure he is getting enough oxygen before I jump to full mom mode and rush the kid to the ER. As I am on the phone with her, I hear a loud crash in the shower and my husband yell out.  I get off the phone with her, and rush to the bathroom.  There I find my husband on the floor of our shower.  He wasn't responding to me.  If you knew how small our shower is and  big my husband is you'd know how scary this image is.  I had no idea if I could even get him out by myself.  I called 911 & they sent the paramedics....

I have tried so hard to stay close to the meal plan for this week, but last night I jumped both feet right off the bandwagon.  We ate... PIZZA!! Yep, that's right.  Pizza in all its cheesy glory.   Here's the thing, not an excuse just the facts, covid wreaks havoc on your body.  One of my biggest symptoms is nausea.  Food doesn't sound good.  In fact pretty much every bit of food that I meal prepped makes me want to throw up.  I just can't do it.   So I came to a place last night where I had to take a serious hard look at where I was. I can continue to try and stick with the diet or not.  Some might say, "Don't give up!  Stay the course!" but I had to look down the road and see where each decision would take me.   I'm dealing with a pretty serious illness here.  My body needs fuel.  If I continue to "stay the course" I would most likely end up not eating much thus putting myself at a higher risk.  Or I ...

Lifestyle changes are HARD!  I knew that sticking with a clean eating program would not be easy.  I was ready.  I was ready to deal with cravings.  I had my meals prepped.  I was ready!   It started with a headache.  It was expected.  All the materials that I read said that I doing a sugar detox causes headaches, fatigue & irritability.  So when these symptoms started I didn't think too much about it.  Little did I know what was just around the corner. COVID It's a word that I have come to hate!  When the world shut down due to covid, my world collapsed. But that is a story for another day.   So here I am, working on eating clean & detoxing my body from sugar when we start getting text messages from my husband's family.  We were all together on Saturday to go swimming.  Most of us who were together are feeling sick in some way.  The wheels start turning & I start thinking, "This isn't just s...

 Today is the day... that I am going to change my life! that I am going to lose weight. that I am going to be healthy. that I am going to be a better me. I have said these words to myself so many times in my life time.  It starts out so well.  I start the new diet, the new exercise program, the goal to be a better person, but overtime I get tired and frustrated AND so I quit. Yep, I'm a quitter.   Even as I type these words, I wonder if this blog/journal of my journey will actually last more than a few days.  I guess time will only tell. But today I start a new journey.  This is the journey that will hopefully lead me to a better, healthier, stronger me. Twenty-six years ago I was a young skinny college student.  I was happy & healthy.  I had just met the love of my life.  Life was good.   Actually my life is still good.  I married the love of my life.  We celebrated our 25th anniversary this year.  We have 4...